Banana Walnut Muffins

I've had a revelation.
This isn't my first ever revelation but I will say, this is quite a profound one. Are you ready for it?
I have decided to embrace the limitations of MS.
Now, before you judge that statement too quickly or assume that I am "giving up" the fight, hear me out. There is an explanation to my revelation, or shall I say, a method to my madness.
Let's go back to this morning. I woke up with the left side of my body in a terribly flared state. I could see the pulsing vein bulging in my stickily arms and legs. The pain was acute, as if someone were tugging on my muscles just for kicks. I always flare on the left side and every time the pain is the same. The only difference is the varying strength of the pull. Some days it is as if there are three strong men pulling on the muscle and other days I'm down to just one. Today I was somewhere in-between. Let's say, two strong men yanking on the muscles in my left side. Needless to say, an unpleasant sensation.
My day didn't improve much from there. My emotions were on edge along with my muscles and nerves. I hit a wall, a breakdown, a complete and utter meltdown. Living in this body with all of its flares, pains, lack of weight and unpredictable twists and turns got the better of me. Not knowing what each day will bring or what limitations will be put on me next brought me to my emotional knees.
I stayed there for a good hour getting more frustrated. I must confess I was downright angry with God for not touching my body with miraculous healing.
Finally a jackhammer outside got me out of the condo and on a bike ride. I simply couldn't take the noise a moment longer (my noise sensitivity is a relativity new and rather severe symptom that is enough to drive a girl absolutely mad). It wasn't until I started peddling on that bike that I hit upon my revelation.
Yes, MS is most certainly limiting my life but it is not ending it. There are still things I can do. God hasn't chosen to heal me. But He didn't choose to heal Paul either yet Paul had a purpose and God enabled Him to do plenty (more than plenty) to further the Kingdom of God and bring glory to God. Paul asked three times to be healed. God didn't give Him healing but He did give Him a mission and a purpose even without providing healing.
I have asked God well over three times to be healed and He has not worked that miracle in my body. Now I must accept that He wants to use me with my limitations. I have to learn to live fully in the ways I can and stop fighting, lamenting and wishing away my frailties and weaknesses. I have to accept my limitations and embrace wholeheartedly what it is I am capable of.
Like baking.
I can bake and I love to bake. It is where I sense purpose and fulfillment. I am able to bless people by baking. I have never experienced a flared muscle while baking. So baking is what I will do because baking is what I am fully capable of doing.
To embrace this new way of living and new revelation I am going to a cooking store and getting a stand up mixer. This is a splurge but it is a splurge in the name of embarking on a new way of living. I am no longer going to be defined by what I can't do, I am going to be known for what I can do. And what I can bake!

It only seems fitting that today I bake something with nuts and some bananas because my day was a little nutty but in the end it turned out to be divinely sweet and scrumptious.
Today's culinary creation features Banana Walnut Muffins. The recipe I used came from the book "A Homemade Life" by Molly Wizenberg. Her recipe is for a loaf bread but I didn't have a loaf pan on hand so I improvised, halved the recipe and made muffins instead.

Here's the original recipe:
6 TBSP unsalted butter
2 cups flour
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips (I didn't use, swapped walnuts instead)
1/3 cup finely chopped crystallized ginger (didn't have any so omitted)
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cup mashed banana
1/4 cup yogurt
1 tsp vanilla extract

Heat oven to 350 and grease a loaf pan (or muffins if you are taking the Fritz approach). Melt the butter and set aside. Mix in a large bowl the flour, sugar, soda and salt. Add chocolate and ginger (if using) and mix well.
In a medium bowl beat the egg and then add banana, yogurt, butter and vanilla. Mix well. Pour banana mixture into the flour mixture and using a rubber spatula, mix until combined but not too much. You don't want to over mix. The batter will be a bit lumpy but if the flour is all incorporated then it is mixed enough.
Fill the pan and bake in the oven for about 50 minutes (or 20 for muffins). The top should start to brown and a toothpick come out clean.
Let cool then remove from pan, slice, serve and enjoy!

Recipe from "A Homemade Life" by Molly Wizenberg

PB&J Thumbprint Cookies

"I need a new beach cover up."
About two seconds after that sentence left my mouth I knew it had been a ridiculous statement. Who needs a beach cover up? Answer: no one.
On one side of my brain I am well aware that a beach cover up is a completely unnecessary item, especially when you already have a beach cover up from a few seasons back that still does the job of covering up on the way to the beach. Yet, despite my brain's understanding of need versus want I still find myself falling into the trap of overconsumption. I see something that looks pretty and I think, "I'd like to have that. I shall have that!" And before you know it my debit card is sliding through the little machine, I'm punching four numbers onto a little electronic pad and my desired item is in a bag on its way to becoming another member of my closet's wardrobe family.
That scenario is a sure thing if I act simply off of impulse and the emotional reaction that speaks to me and says, "If you like it, get it." It is only when I stop, ponder and think that I can reason through what is a reasonable indulgence and what is just plain silly.

The statement, "I need a new beach cover up" was completely silly. I did not and do not need a new beach cover up. Would I like a new beach cover up? Yes. Do I need one? Absolutely not. In fact, if I got a new beach cover up I would have to sit on my suitcase to close it to fit all of my current apparel and new purchases into the same bag. I'm barely zipping that enormous bag(s) as it is.
The first time that sentence left my mouth I couldn't help but laugh a little at the sheer absurdity of my thoughts. What a land of abundance I live in! I am overwhelmingly blessed to be surrounded by beautiful things, beautiful sights and all the creature comforts a person could ever want. Not only am I well stocked with everything I need but I am overflowing with things that I simply want and certainly don't need.

Over the next few days following my silly "need" statement I found myself thinking about wants versus needs as I passed beach cover ups in the store. I combed through the hangers considering what could be bought if I so desired and what could be had if I left empty handed.
In the end I left empty handed. And here's why: I decided that leaving without a new beach cover up gave me the pleasure of being satisfied and content with what I have right now, today, in this moment. I didn't need to buy anything new with fresh tags and a new style. Instead I choose to be satisfied with what I have instead of finding satisfaction in buying the perfect "thing" for that moment. It may not be a monumental decision but for me it was a symbolic action to show to myself that I don't need anything more than what I have right now to be happy and fulfilled.
With that satisfied and contentment front and center in my thoughts I let that principle influence today's baking adventure. Instead of hitting the grocery store for an array of new ingredients I opened the pantry and let the bounty in my cupboards give life to another delicious dessert.
Enter: PB&J Cookies.
There is nothing more comforting and classic then the combination of peanut butter and jelly, both of which are in my cabinet just waiting to be baked into a sugary treat.
With crunchy PB in one hand and blackberry jelly in the other I got to work on my cookies. A little flour, sugar, vanilla, butter, baking soda, salt and one egg yolk later my dough was ready to be rolled in sugar and baked at 350 for ten minutes.
At first I was a bit concerned about how this recipe would turn out. The instructions said to put the jelly in after the cookies baked. I'd never made thumbprint cookies this way but trusted the expert (Dessert for Two blogger) and baked the cookies jelly free.
The blogger didn't steer me wrong. The cookies were a hit, yet another small batch recipe success! To try baking up your own comforting classic PB&J cookies head over to Dessert for Two at http://www.dessertfortwo.com/2012/01/pb-j-cookies/.

Honey Roasted Peaches with Yogurt & Granola

Stuffed food is fun. How's that for deep and philosophical? It may be a simple, rather elementary statement, but let's face it, it's true! Who doesn't love food stuffed in another type of food? Stuffed peppers, stuffed cupcakes, stuffed tomatoes, stuffed sandwiches! In America we enjoy our food stuffed. I've even seen people stuff raspberries. Friends, that is not for the faint of heart. Raspberries are fragile and I can't imagine that stuffing them is an easy task. I have yet to take on such a feat and tonight I'm not about to try.
I am, on the other hand, going to do some stuffing of my own this evening. For me I'm choosing a larger stuffing vessel to give my two diners a more abundant filling. Dainty eaters can stick to their raspberries but in my kitchen tonight we're going big and we're going peachy!
You may be sick of peaches by now but it's summer peach season and I'm making hay while the sun shines….or baking peaches while they're in season. You get the point.
The idea for stuffed peaches came from something deeper than an affinity for stuffed food. Sure stuffed food is eye catching and almost entertaining but when I thought about what to bake tonight I started thinking on a different kind of filling and a different kind of vessel. My thoughts wandered to what I stuff myself with - and I'm not talking food. What am I really filling myself with? Am I loading on good, positive and beneficial influences? Or am I focusing on destructive fillings that cast a dark shadow on my mood and outlook on life?
Everyone is stuffed with something - be it good or bad, positive or negative. Our stuffing is bound to seep out of us and affect and influence our lives and the people in it. So we must choose our stuffing wisely. If we fill up on the destructive it only makes sense that negativity and destruction will flow from us. But if we stuff ourselves with good things, Godly things, we will shine a light that reflects Christ.
I want my peaches stuffed with oats, pecans, cinnamon and honey and I want my life stuffed with scripture, truth, joy and peace. Thankfully I get to choose what I bake in the kitchen and what I bake up in my life. I get to choose the stuffing and tonight I'm choosing to fill my life to the overflowing with all things sweet, beautiful and absolutely wonderful!

To make your own stuffed peaches is really quite simple. Here's what I did:
1. Make a batch of granola. For mine I used a cup of rolled oats, about a 1/3 cup pecans, 2 T butter (melted), 2 T honey, vanilla extract and cinnamon to taste. I tossed that altogether to coat and then spread it out on a baking sheet and baked it for about 30 minutes at 300 degrees, tossing and moving around every 10 minutes or so. I find making granola works best if it is not at all crowded on the sheet. Oats like their personal space. When the granola is turning golden remove it from the oven and let it cool (it will continue to brown on the sheet).
2. Now to the peaches. Preheat the oven to 350 and get to slicing your peach(s). Put the peaches skin sound down in a pan conducive to roasting. In the cavity of the peach put in a tab of putter and a bit of honey (the amount you use will depend on how sweet you want your peach). Pop your peaches in the oven and bake until bubbly but not burnt (about 25 minutes).
3. Remove peaches and let cool a few minutes before topping with vanilla yogurt, a dash of cinnamon and a couple TB of the granola.
4. Serve to hungry guests!

Bananas Foster Baby (Toddler) Cakes

Baking for two is a challenge. Good thing I like challenges.
Baking typically yields large quantities. Cookies are baked up in the dozens. Cupcake recipes make at last twelve to fifteen cute little treats. An average sized cake feeds way more than two people. But this week I'm baking for just two so my goal is to not only create tantalizing treats but to do it without creating a lot of waste and leftover sugary confections.
Searching for help to successfully overcome this challenge I stumbled across a blog called "Desserts for Two." Can you say perfect? The recipes are all geared towards the baker who wants to bake for a small crowd, usually a crowd of two. The best part is that almost all of her recipes are from scratch. For me from scratch is a must. I am bucking the Betty Crocker. I am denying the convenience of boxes and mixes. Even canned caramel is off limits.
Desserts for Two guided my baking experiment tonight. I asked my Mom to give me two ingredients to include in the dessert (a not-so-intimidating version of Chopped) and she came up with sour cream and pecans. After searching for a dessert including those two "mystery" ingredients that would be fit for two I came across Bananas Foster Baby Cakes. The name alone was enough to make me want to bake it. The pictures just sealed the deal.
I made some fundamental changes to the recipe. Number one I didn't use any rum. I subbed vanilla extract instead. Secondly I didn't bake them in mini muffin tin. I didn't have one on hand. All I had was a regular muffin tin so I made my "baby cakes" into "toddler cakes." Third, I used half greek yogurt and half sour cream (I had to include that mystery ingredient) to the cake itself. Lastly, I don't know how long I baked them. I believe it was more like fifteen minutes rather than the instructed ten. Since my baby cakes were bigger than babies they required a bit more baking then their smaller cake counterparts.
These Banana Foster Cakes were a big hit. Both Mom and Dad love them and raved about their moist, light texture. I do believe the words, "melt in your mouth" were used. If you want to make two dessert lovers speechless I suggest trying out this recipe. They'll be a feast for the eyes and the tastebuds!

Recipe adapted from http://www.dessertfortwo.com/2014/02/bananas-foster-baby-cakes/

Blueberry Bread Pudding (Dad's Bread Pudding)

One of my Dad's favorite desserts is bread pudding. It goes back to his days as a child growing up on a family farm. His Aunt was the cook in the family and bread pudding was one of her signature dishes.

This week of vacation has had me thinking about how hard my Dad works to provide for our family. He is the hardest worker I know and an extremely generous Father. As a thank you to my Dad I decided to bake something in his honor. Enter: bread pudding. To top off the luscious treat I decided to add blueberries, my Dad's favorite fruit. This dessert creation truly earns the name, "Dad's Bread Pudding."

For the recipe I turned again to the Bing machine which led me to Allrecipes and Bread Pudding II (http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Bread-Pudding-II/?scale=6&ismetric=0). 

Here's what I did with the recipe:

First of all I cut the recipe in half. At least I'm trying to work on portion control for my parental diners!

Secondly, I didn't have day old bread so I went to the store and bought cinnamon swirl bread (definitely would recommend for this recipe). I then removed five pieces (more than half but these pieces were small!), placed them on a cookie sheet and heated them for about five minus at 350 to remove some of the moisture from the bread. This is a good little trick if you need stale bread but don't have any on hand. 

The third change I made was the raisins. I didn't use them. Instead I used blueberries as I mentioned earlier. 

My last change was the amount of sugar used. I used about a 1/4 cup. When I cut the recipe in half it called for a big more sugar but it felt like overkill so I just stuck with the 1/4 cup. 

The result of my blueberry, cinnamon, bread creation with my slight alternations was a treat for the noise as well as the taste buds. The whole condo smelled like a cinnamon bun. The top bubbled and caramelized to a perfect golden brown. 

The picture below does not do this dessert justice. The dessert was impressive. This picture is anything but. You'll just have to take my word for it, bake this bread pudding and your guests (parents, friends, hungry neighbors) will love it. If they're anything like my two diners this evening, they'll have no trouble cleaning their plates. They might even ask for seconds!

Raspberry Lemonade Cheesecake Bars (or a cheesecake fit for two)

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade…or get really creative, pick some raspberries, soften some cream cheese and make Raspberry Lemonade Cheesecake Bars.

Multiple Sclerosis and all of its challenges have given me an abundance of opportunities to make lemonade, metaphorically speaking. With MS there are so many unknowns and unpredictable circumstances. Life can be going along one way and then in the blink of an eye a nerve can flare, a muscle can spasm and life can be thrown into a state of complete fritz. For the sake of sticking with our fruity metaphor I'll call those all-to frequent instances "lemons".
The question then becomes what will the fritzy, ailing body do with their lemons?

In my years with a chronic, ongoing, unpredictable illness I've had my share of opportunities to do some lemon experimentation. Sometimes I've gotten mad at my lemons. I've thrown my lemons, smashed my lemons and yelled at my lemons. I've come to find that this is a ridiculous response. First of all it is a waste of perfectly good lemons. Secondly they never, ever respond to my harassment. In the end this tactic only leaves me horse and frustrated.
I've also tried the ignorance is bliss response to my lemons. On the face of it this seems like a logical response. Just ignore the lemons. How can a person be upset about lemons if they aren't even acknowledging their existence? Well, lemon deniers let me tell you a little secret - lemons go bad. They get moldy spots. They rot. If you ignore your lemons you will pay. Trust me, I have.

Let me assure you it didn't happen over night (sadly it took far too long) but I have in time learned that there is a better way to deal with the lemons of life. Are you ready for my bombshell of a revelation? Make the lemons work for you. 

It's true that this isn't a revolutionary concept. Back in the early 1900's a man named Elbert Hubbard penned a famous obituary in which he gave voice to the lesson I've learned. He wrote of his friend who had passed away, "He picked up the lemons that Fate had sent him and started a lemonade-stand."
Well, I don't believe in "fate." I believe in God. Never the less, the point that Elbert hit on back in the 1900's is still applicable to me today. When you find that you have been given a basket full of lemons you have a choice to make. You can start a fit or you can start a stand.

God doesn't always hand you and I the lemonade ready to drink and enjoy. It seems that more often than not He gives us the lemons (sometimes a lot of lemons) and instructs us to make something wonderful with them. God gives us hard, sour fruit with no odor until cut and once cut a vicious pain if met with a cut finger (for example), and wants us to trust Him that something beautiful can come from that abundant, cheap little fruit.

Just today I was handed another bucket full of lemons. This one came in the form of a flare up that left me indoors, off the beach and out of the pool as I vacation on an island. This isn't exactly what I had expected when I packed my bags.
Once again I've had to ask myself the question, what will you do with these lemons?
This time around the answer has come easily and simply: I'm going to bake with them.

The treat d'jour is a Raspberry Lemonade Cheesecake Bar. The hot temperatures of Hilton Head Island have called out to my inner baker and asked to provide a dessert that is light and refreshing. With my bucket full of lemons in hand I have just the treat to satisfy the hot, humid and hungry! 

I found this recipe at Handle the Heat - quite an appropriate name given today's temperature of 92 degrees, don't you agree? 

The idea behind the recipe is to create cheesecake inspired bars with a raspberry swirl. With a lack of kitchen equipment on hand (no mixer, no food processor, very few baking dishes), my dessert ended up  in a round pan that created a cheesecake fit for two. This actually turned out to be an accidentally genius baking decision. I was only baking for two tonight and the presentation of a miniature cheesecake was more appealing than a few bars cut up on a plate. 

So you see, when you have lemons but no dish, don't fret. All you have to do is get creative, take a stand, and keep on baking. 

Recipe adapted from http://www.handletheheat.com/raspberry-lemonade-cheesecake-bars/

To the beach we go

If my hotel room had an oven I'd be baking. But, alas, my standard room only provides a small microwave and mini-fridge. I don't even have silverware let alone a mixing bowl.
Due to my lack of equipment and ingredients I have not baked today or yesterday and chances are I won't be baking again tomorrow! It may sound odd but I am legitimately sad about this lull in my baking life. Since I've been out of town and out of the kitchen I've realized that I don't just enjoy baking, I love baking. Baking is my perfect therapy. I feel at home in the kitchen wearing an apron and working with doughs, sugars and hot temperatures. Let's just say I not only handle the heat, I thrive in the heat of the kitchen! Give me any other kind of heat and my leg goes on the fritz but kitchen heat suits me quite nicely.

I wanted to give whoever might be out there reading this blog a heads up, I'm away from my kitchen but I will be back. (I did not just say that in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice). This temporary lull in recipe reviews and experiments isn't due to a fading interest in baking or a shortage of flour in the Northern Pennsylvania area. I'm simply away from my kitchen, traveling to one of my favorite places - the beach.
But don't fret, I won't be gone too long. In fact when I make it to the beach one of the first plans on my agenda is to make a trip to the grocery store and buy the basic baking provisions: flour, sugar, eggs and vanilla extract just to name a few. Trust me, I'll be making time to bake even on vacation. Baking on this beach vacation actually sounds quite relaxing. Who knows maybe I'll make sand dollar sugar cookies to celebrate my new location.
I guess you'll just have to keep following this blog to find out!
Happy baking!