Five minutes to peel, core and slice the apples.
Ten minutes to measure, mix and beat dough ingredients then fold in the apples.
Thirty minutes to bake at 350 degrees.
One hour to cool.
Twenty minutes to beat (and attempt to salvage) malfunctioning frosting.
Ten seconds to destroy in the garbage disposal.
The Apple Blondies were an inedible disaster. My first entirely inedible disaster to date. The tops of the blondies were brown - golden actually. But, once cut, a mushy, gushy, disgusting center was revealed. The tops had cooked but the apples inside and the surrounding cakey dough had reduced to a slimy mess.
And the frosting. Oh goodness don't get me started! Who puts raw brown sugar in frosting? No right-minded dessert love wants a crunch in their creamy frosting. No one. I don't even eat frosting and I don't want it to crunch. Frosting is meant to be smooth and silky. Frosting is to dessert what sheets are to a bed. And just like sheets shouldn't be scratchy, frosting shouldn't be crunchy.
After twenty minutes of working with my disastrous frosting the crunch was almost dissolved thanks to ridiculous amounts of confectioners sugar, low heat and even more ridiculous amounts of butter.
After saving the frosting (or at least making it edible) I went to cut into the bars and discovered that the situation was much more dire than a crunch in the frosting. The bars were complete mush - clumpy, sugary, soupy mush.
I took the pan of apple slime to the sink, dumped, rinsed and turned on the switch to crush the inedible ball of dough into a disposed of memory.
Some days, some recipes, simply cannot be saved. Poor apple blondies, they looked like they had promise. The pictures were deceiving - golden brown bars topped with creamy, white frosting (seriously there could not have been brown sugar in the bars pictured!) But the reality of my own apple blondies was anything but tantalizing. So I had to face the music, or, more accurately, the mushy bars, and admit to defeat.
I came, I baked and I didn't conquer the apple blondies.
Oh well. Bake and learn.
Failed apple blondie take away: Pictures don't tell the whole story. So Pinterest picture gazer beware. Think before you bake!
And don't ever put raw brown sugar in a frosting...ever.