I've spent so much time speaking the words, "this will change" in regards to my health and my weight. I've tried on dresses that I can't fill out and pants that my butt won't hold up and I've been discouraged. To help me overcome the frustration of being severely underweight I've told myself, "You'll wear those someday when you weight more. You won't be this way forever."
But hey, wait a second! What if I am like this forever? What if this is my "perfect" weight according to God's scale? Am I going to constantly be dissatisfied with my weight, pinning for it to be higher, longing for curves in the right places and a butt that fits into size 00 pants? Am I going to spend the rest of my life looking ahead to a different body?
This is the body I have been given and it functions and it runs and it bakes and it is beautiful! It doesn't need another single pound to be blessed and touched by the hand of God. If God doesn't see fit for me to weigh an ounce more than I can go on the rest of my days at this weight and survive and thrive. My problem with my weight isn't that I'm about to keel over, it's that I'm not content with it. Despite my constant refrain that "this too shall pass" it has yet to pass, God hasn't changed it yet.
Could it be that He wants me to be satisfied, content and at peace with my body - weight and all?
I think that is precisely what He desires of me.
I have been created in the image of God. My MS, my weight, even my boney appearance are all part of God's plan for my life. Who am I to question His goodness? Who am I to question the body He has put me in and the path He has plotted for me? Do I need to be at a certain weight to be happy? Do I need to fit into a certain size pants to like the girl I see in the mirror?
No, this body was delicately and purposefully created by my all-mighty Father who knew down to the ounce what I would weigh when I was born and what I would weigh today at age twenty four! None of this is a surprise to Him and none of it is out of His control. If I am living according to God's will, following obediently as He leads then I shouldn't question why He won't let me put on a single pound. I just need to trust He has my weight, just like my life, right where He wants it.
I can go on wishing and hoping that some day I'll weigh more but in doing so I am telling God that where He has me right now isn't good enough. When I lament my current circumstances I tell God that He hasn't gotten this one right. What foolishness!
Of course God has it right. I am the one who can't see the grand plan. I'm so focused on single pieces of the puzzle while God sees the entire picture, the completed masterpiece and He knows how to put it all together.
I'm not going to question why I'm in this body any longer. And I'm not going to wish it away, either. I'm going to stop looking ahead to a different set of circumstances, different weight on the scale and different body. I'm going to love me just the way I am right now because this is how God has created me! And this I know for sure, He doesn't make mistakes. He is the perfect Creator who has made my body perfectly for me!
To celebrate my simply perfect, God given life today I am baking up a simple, sweet and classic cookie, the snickerdoodle. This cookie doesn't have a single chip, swirl or crumble yet it is a favorite in the world of cookies. Who would think that something so easy to prepare with such a basic list of ingredients could produce something so beloved?
I turned to Mrs. Sigg's for the "best snickerdoodle recipe ever" (http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Mrs-Siggs-Snickerdoodles/). I haven't tried every snickerdoodle recipe so I can't promise that this is the best ever but over three thousand reviewers have given it almost a full five stars so it is a promising recipe to say the least. The result is a classic cookie sure to please practically any palate. I made a few minor tweaks to the recipe as advised by other bakers. First I increased the amount of flour to three cups. Secondly I lined my baking sheets with parchment paper and baked at convection 375. Last I upped the amount of the cinnamon sugar rolling concoction.
My cookie celebration was another success! More importantly my whole day was one of joy and peace because it was filled with contentment in the moment and thankfulness for life as it is right here, right now.
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